So here I am, several months later. A whole lot of very bad things happened in succession. The Hell year that was 2013 couldn’t finish without a BANG! And it did, and it bled over into 2014.
But I won’t get into that. One good thing though, we rescued two new kittens.
This is Tinman, named thus because he has a black spot on his chest like the tinman’s heart. He is super sweet, and also a rotten boy kitten like they all are. He purrs very loudly and loves to be held and cuddle.
And this is his sister, Sylph! Our neice and nephews down where we brought them from called her “Tiger Tail” and my hubby called her “Fire Tail”. I LOVE her markings. She’s got a big black spot on her back and a pale orange heart shaped spot on her shoulder that is rather tiny, and then mostly white except for her tail. And she’s a super sweetie. So gentle, even when she plays with you.
For those out there who don’t care and just want to see sims, here we go. It’ll probably be a bit choppy since it’s been awhile.
And of course we end up starting with Kyle. Even though he’s dead, he’ll never stop haunting me. Living, dead, doesn’t matter. I’m stuck with Kyle forever.
Kyle: “But look at this gift of abs I’m giving you!”
Shut up Kyle!
Kyle: “Fine. I’ll just go eat some of these burnt waffles that dipstick son of mine tried to make. Look at this crap? He doesn’t get his cooking gene from me, that’s for sure!”
Huey: “DAD?! But you’re de- hey are those my waffles? Pretty good for a first try, huh? :D”
Argus sums up how everyone in the world feels about cake.
So with that little stay over Ash got sent back to college, since you have to go twice to get a degree. Bleh.
Fire: “Bye little sis! Have fun in the dorms!”
Ash: “I hate you all. I’m married, why should I have to stay in dorms again? Such shit.”
And she was her happy, merry self of course.
Ash: “I also have babies at home. Stuck in a bunch of dorms with a bunch of losers. And LOOK! My leaf pile is rotted too. Just great.”
Richard: “Ash! I’m so glad you’re back! I was about to graduate and move out into nothing land and be lost forever! Now we can graduate together, move back to your home, get married, have kids. Oh I love you!”
Ash: “Yeah… about that. I got pregnant when I went home last time so I married the guy.”
Richard: “WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!”
Ash: “I don’t know! It was cold, he was all wooly because he’s a werewolf, things just happened! I think for now, you and I should be friends. Please stay my friend, ok?”
Richard: “I’m only doing this because the play tag glitch won’t allow me to deny your friendship, but I want you to know that deep down inside I wish I could punch you in the teeth.”
Ash: “Sounds good to me! You know I like it rough- *Ash is now eternally faithful* Well shit.”
Girl: “Yay! Rotten leaves!”
Ash: “And that is why potty training is the most heinous thing in the universe! Huh… wonder where everyone went? This place was packed a minute ago.”
I wasn’t kidding about her choice of subject matter. I can’t make this stuff up folks. And everyone did indeed clear out.
Ash: “All this talk of toddler shit makes me want another baby!”
You have got to be kidding me. What?!
Ash: “Yup. Another baby please. And I don’t care who the baby daddy is. Maybe that will make Richard happy. He keeps calling my cell phone at night and breathing angrily at me.”
This has no real significance except for the fact that having four sims in a conversation at one time is unprecedented in my game. I can barely keep two of them talking for long and these four just walked up on their own and started having a conversation.
Ponytail: “This is the one I was telling you about.”
Greenshirt: “Oh yeah? So if I do your homework you’ll do me a favor huh? Hehehe.”
Chloe: “Ok boys, this is how it works. You want to make a deal with Barry, you got to go through me. I own him, you see?”
Barry: “I like you guys. *wink*”
This is why my sims avoid each other in front of me, probably. Because I make it into something lewd.
Hanna: “UGH! I can’t believe you actually came to the party that I invited you to! How DARE you?!”
Ash: “What the crap?”
Ash: “I love to play tag, and that isn’t a euphamism.”
Chloe: “Oh me too! We should be besties for lyfe!”
Ash: “We really should! Yay! So uh, why are those three guys always following you around anyway?”
Chloe: “Oh them? Don’t mind them. I own them. Barry in the middle was the first. Then Keith and of course Tony on the end. Especially don’t mind him. He’s always crying over something. No biggie.”
Tony: “Someone ate my ice cream *sniff*”
Hanna: “ASH STORM! How dare you come to my fancy party and make friends with the pimp girl! I wanted to talk to her! YOU don’t even look half as nice as me!”
Ash: “Oh that’s it. I’m gonna ice this bitch.”
Whaaa? I mean at this point I hate her too but you can’t do that in this game.
Ash: “No really. I’m going to ice her.”
Oh. Carry on.
Ash: “You went nipping at the heels of the wrong lady, you bitch! You want to be an ice cold cunt, well, I’m about to make you into one like you never imagined!”
Barry: “It’s a bit nippy in here now, don’t you think?”
Hanna: “No, I won’t let you! *evil bitch powers activate*”
Ash: “Well that’s new.”
Hanna: “HA! I can duplicate myself at will! So now I have eluded your spell!”
Tony: “I pooted.”
Ash: “Damn it Tony!”
Girl: “No one in this entire place has any brains.”
Hanna: “Oh and also, I just broke your game.”
$^#&%UY@&%*^! HANNA!
Hanna: “Ha HA! I know my fingers don’t quite look it, but I’m giving you the biggest bird I possibly can right now.”
I’m glad that ice made you fat.
I had to send Ash home and restart before the errors would stop. At least I didn’t lose my save since I hadn’t backed up my file since before the twins were born. But Hanna… I hate her.
Ash: “Now that Hanna has been taken care of I’m free to be the star again.”
Richard: “What do you mean taken care of? Have you done something?”
Chole: “Oh, hehe, well after her fat ass thawed out I sent my boys after her. Keith wore the chicken hat, Barry wore a salami suit and Tony… well Tony was himself. She was so humiliated having them around her all day that she dropped out.”
That’s what friends are for?
Ash: “And now it’s time for our favorite game! TAG!”
Chloe: “YAY! You’ll never catch me!”
And she really never did. Chloe took off, at a full run, down the sidewalk for miles and miles. I had to have Ash just give up eventually.
After yet another meet and greet Ash was hanging out with her other best friend, Ayana.
Ash: “Ok Ayana, try actually catching something this time.”
Ayana: “Catching… something?”
Ayana: “Like catching a cold? YEE! This is fun! And freezing!”
Ash: “THAT…. is not at ALL what I meant you freak.”
… she’s going to end up killing herself, isn’t she?
Ayana: “AHAHA! College is FUN!”
You see her sketching it here…
And it’s actually what she drew! That’s a first.
It’s a rockin’ T-Rex in shades… I know just what to do!
Yeah.
Before me we move on (because apparently at first I turned into a cavewoman) I have to mention something. I haven’t had just one sim in awhile, and while it’s pretty boring it was kind of relaxing this time. I watched her mix a salad though, she licked the spoon and put the spoon back into the bowl. WHO licks the spoon from a SALAD?!
Ash went to one more party before I guess I got sick of UNI and stopped recording anything until she graduated.
Ash: “Chloe, you’re totally missing it. That old guy on campus? You know the one who sleeps through EVERY lecture? Yeah he threw this party, and made us all wear swimsuits. He’s doing a swimsuit in winter calendar and he said we all get to be a part of it. How cool is that?!”
Oh look. It’s graduating time.
Ash: “Hmm… I could have sworn this wasn’t in my hand or pockets when I WENT to bed.”
Those creepy little suckers are always sneaking unseen into pockets. Perverted gnomes.
Ash: “OW! He pinched me!”
Graduation Gnome: “Hehehe, yeah baby!”
And she finally gets that stupid degree. Yay! We don’t have to come back here!
Everyone looks just so excited to be graduating.
Blonde Guy: “I’d rather be eating bugs.
Beard Guy: “Oh yeah, now I’m going to make the money, and with the money comes the bitches.”
Lady: “HA! You’re all in matching dresses! Fashion FAUX PAS!”
Ash: “Shut up before I ram a paint brush up your ass.”
Argus: “I don’t care if you DO have a degree, you’re still brainless.”
Her spouse is so supportive.
When Ash got home I controlled Fire for a bit because I had decided to move him out to make some room in the house. I wanted him to get married though so I tried to make it happen. Adam Dickey here said yes and they went through the ceremony but my Mover mod was out so he didn’t move in. So I guess their marriage wasn’t legal in this state. Bummer. Get out anyway.
Graduation Gnome: “Don’t worry, we’re all about free love here! Want a hug?”
Do you have jaundice?
GG: “I think she’s got some issues guys. I was offering free hugs and she asked me if I was diseased. You guys want some hugs?”
Bunny Gnome 1: “Wow this freak is some kind of messed up.”
Bunny Gnome 2: “And they called us the stuff of nightmares. You think if I hop on his head that’ll kill the evil?”
Argus: “Hellooo? Can someone much younger and more spry move this bird cage out of my way so I can stare listlessly out of this window? I already stared listlessly out of the others. My cycle of being pathetic like a lost puppy won’t be complete until I look out of ALL the windows!”
Criminy.
GG: “FREE HUGS! LOOK AT ME NOW!”
BG1: “Now THAT’S not free hugs, man.”
BG2: “I’m just going to pop my head in the ground like an ostrich now. I’m traumatized.”
BG1: “I wouldn’t leave my butt exposed around him if I were you…”
The gnomes continue to creep me out.
Fire: “I’m in a big house all alone… don’t you love me anymore? *sniff*”
Of course! Come back in. You just can’t stay.
Ash: “OMG! They’re making 50 Shades Of Grey into a musical! Life is complete!”
What in the ever loving fuck for?!
Dust: “I was BORN to play the role of Christian Grey.”
Please… stop. Both of you.
You know what else bugs me besids badly written books getting blown all out of proportion? When toddlers learn a skill, or when someone gets invited to a party, the ENTIRE HOUSEHOLD claims they are the one who did it, or were invited. She learned from the WALKER. No, not a zombie, the toddler walker thing. Spazes.
Yeah HUEY! I don’t have that option turned on!
Thunder: “Don’t worry kid, in just a little while you can shake that hot grilled ass all over town.”
Patrick: “Boy that Sand is SUCH a GMILF.”
….
Ash: “Hey Grim. Yeah, I know I haven’t called in awhile but look, I need a favor. There’s a toddler birthday party for TWO toddlers… yes. And my idiot relatives are all here. You can just come take me now…. What?… oh… go to Hell…. YEAH I KNOW YOU’RE THERE REGULARLY! *CLICK* I can’t angrily hang up a cell phone properly! DAMN IT!”
The troubles of our youth today. No satisfaction from slamming a phone receiver down on someone.
Ash: “Fine, let’s just get this shit over with then…. MOM!! What the hell are you doing?!”
Sand: “I deserve love too!”
Ash: “He’s young enough to be your kid!”
Sand: “And yours is old enough to be your FATHER but his stuff still worked obviously.”
Ash: “….shut up.”
Star: “BADERP!”
And she randomly rolled evil. Nice. Her twin was born with the Good trait. That should be fun.
Look at it. The face of pure evil.
Star: “Du doy.”
Right.
Lightening: “Toddler birthday party? Psshhh… Cake bitches.”
Star: “Hell yeah!”
We can tell who takes after Dust.
Dust: “Hey, I’m actually cheering here!”
Lightening: “I can’t believe you’ve let this house get so filthy since we moved out. What is wrong with you?”
Ash: “Oh hey Lightening. You know what? You’re right. I should take care of those dishes right now. In fact, why don’t you open your mouth up Reeeeaaaalll wide for me, so I can SHOVE THEM ALL DOWN YOUR THROAT!”
Sand: “And after I’ll rinse them by pissing in your mouth.”
Fire: “TOOOT! Family gatherings are the BEST!”
Well, she rolled Hates Outdoors. At least when her twin is up to evil she won’t know it since she’s going to be a recluse.
And here they are. Turned out prettier than I expected really, but then kid faces are hard for me to truly tell.
Sand: “!!!”
Thunder: “Aunt Sand! Oh that’s just tragic. Your poor, teenage son will be mortified FOR LIFE.”
Huey: “Omg my life is ruined!”
Sand: “Well I wouldn’t have HAD an accident if SOMEONE weren’t hogging the damn bathroom, YOUR FATHER!”
Dust: “It takes a long time to teach a toddler to walk! Especially from a long distance!”
Well… I guess at least someone taught the poor kid to walk. This is brand new autonomous behavior for my sims. Even one of them HAVING a kid was a miracle.
Ash: “There are witches and then there are witches. You see I’m a witch but Hanna was a witch. Know what I’m saying?”
Thunder: “Smile and nod. Just smile and nod.”
Argus: “Hey baby. Can I hump your leg? *pantpant*”
Ash: “Wow. You’re just so romantic. I don’t know why everyone doesn’t fall for werewolves!”
Argus: “Is that a-”
Ash: “But no. I have more important things to do. Like stuff my face with CAKE. Did you NOT hear the birthday horns? I am going to DEVOUR some sugary frosted GOOOODNESS!!”
To note what happened here, Argus tried to initiate a “woohoo” which we all know by now is really a “try for baby” from those scoundrels, and Ash shut him down to eat cake instead. True story.
Argus: “I should take her on a honeymoon. We never got to do that… shotgun wedding and all.”
Ash: “Vacation… snore… lochness eat him…”
Thunder: “I just love being in this house, and this cake os SOOO GOOOD.”
I kind of wish I had chosen Thunder over everyone else. I know, I had a poll, but his features are so unique and he has the darker skin which I would like to get back to.
Bunch of whities.
:p I kid, I kid! You should see how pale I am.
About like that, yup.
ANYWAY
Dust: “Now son, you haven’t been out of this house long enough to have forgotten the rule of thumb.”
Thunder: “Uhh.”
Dust: “That’s right. You break dad’s computer, dad breaks your face.”
Thunder: “I think it’s time to leave.”
Yeah thanks for the impromptu sleepover, Fire number 2.
Star is the evil one and yet she came home from school and immediately began, and finished, her homework. Jet on the other hand…
Jet: “And the hero, Lady Wolf, shoved all those nasty clowns into the rocket and shot them into space! And everyone cheered!”
Well at least she’s trying to save the world.
Sand: “Why yes, Adam, I would love to dance with you. Meet you at around 6? Great!”
Sand loved Kyle, don’t get me wrong, but she seems to be enjoying being single in her final years quite a lot more than she should.
Sand: “What? He’s a free agent. He never married my son!”
Meanwhile Huey went to a prom that I had forgotten about since it had been so long since my last play session.
So Ethan is still there, and he’s still a joke. He must be immortal.
Ohhh amorousness! I love it when they find their own dates. I get excited to know who they chose.
WTF is laying in that bed?! Is that… a used condom?! HUEY!?
Huey: “Uhh… you don’t have that turned on!”
Did you carry that back from PROM?! GROSS!
Ash: “Ok. I want another baby. NOW.”
Good grief! Yeah, you certainly do. Well bleh I guess you have to have one with Argus. I was hoping he’d croak and we could bring in Richard. She and Argus have lost a bit of relationship points I guess. Or they were never full to begin with. Hard to tell.
So I had a little party as an excuse to see Huey’s romantic interest, get their cousin Scotty over and make the kids hang out with the only other children they know. This is Rosemarie. She’s pretty! I kind of want she and Huey to have babies together.
Rosemarie: “Booo! Everyone here sucks!”
And this is Thunder’s son, Scotty. Unremarkable features at this age. But he is still special because he happened without my having a hand in it.
Scotty: “Dad keeps talking about us moving into this house with you guys. I was skeptical at first, but you have an awesome game set up here!”
Jet: “Yeah I know! And we could play it all the time too!”
Star: “Someone is discussing plans they will soon regret. I will not be left out!”
Actually, her expressions do scare me a bit.
Star: “Yes that’s right. My mother is nothing compared to me. I actually AM evil. MUAHAHA!”
And a werewolf. It just dawned on me. I had twin werewolf girls, one is evil and the other is good. YA novel here I come!
Star: “You really scare too easily papa. That was just pathetic. How can you even call yourself a werewolf?!”
Argus: “No one is safe in this house anymore!”
Sand is at it again, slow dancing with Argus this time. Too bad he sucks at it.
Argus: “Oh I’m so sorry. I see nice shoes and I just want to nibble on them. I can’t help myself.”
Sand: “Next time wait until my foot is OUT of the shoe!”
When did Fire get here?
Fire: “You should give in. I’m never truly going away.”
Suits me.
Star: “Oh boy I can’t wait until mom finds out about what dad is doing with grandma!”
Star: “She’ll be all over him liek a wild beast! We’ll see who the REAL monster is. Hehehehe.”
Oh… it’s a full moon. Three werewolves just transformed in here.
And howled all at once. It was kind of comical.
Sand: “Oh my LANDS! Three werewolves… I feelll.. *faints*”
Argus: “Look at this Jet, I’ve still got muscles.”
Jet: “Too busy playing My Little Pony, daddy.”
Yeah. Scarey werewolves.
Huey: “And then I told her, ‘NO! You can not go around just balancing books on your head for any guy you want! We’re in a relationship now!'”
Dust: “Heh. Way to lay down the law kid.”
Star plays with her IF all the time like every other kid I’ve had. Jet has not once touched hers. I even checked to make sure she actually HAS one, and she does.
And with that, I leave you with old werewolf ass.
Argus: “I’m sexy and I know it.”
Ash: “Just don’t clog the drain with all of your hair, dumbass.”
————————————
Point List. (I forgot to record all the randomized traits and fires… so the numbers are approximate until I go back to look, if
I even can)
Torch-Holders: 4
Life-Time Wish Achievements (One tally per LTW achieved.): 1
Social Worker Visits. (One tally per child taken at SW visit.):
Accidental Deaths:
Number of Special Tombstones(non-old age) vs. Total Death Count. (Ex: 8/15):
Pass-Outs (except fainting when someone sees a ghost): 18
Self-Wettings: 14
Fires: ~5
Fights:
Every Birth: 6
Every Twin Birth: 1
Every Triplet Birth:
Achieving Honor Roll: 7
Random LTW Choice: 6
Each Randomized Trait: ~27
Reach top of a career. (One tally each time your sims do this, even if it’s the same sim doing it!):
100,000. (One tally for every 100,000 simoleons in your net-worth. Check build/buy mode for this number.):
Spouse Reaches Top of Career:
Stray Zombies and Animals to Die on Lot: 6
It's Raining Idiots 